Just sharing...becasue I have nothing else to say.

While we waited for Myrena's party to start Chelsea and I played with the camera.

Myrena's 12th birthday party was a simple one this year. We played at the park and had a cook out. That's what she wanted. All of the friends she invited came and they had a blast.

She got roses from her daddy for her 12th birthday. She was very tickled with the delivery. She also got a pogo stick and a laptop from us.

Awesome picture. We had some fun with the camera today. Chelsea showed her photography "eye" today too.

This is Chelsea's picture. I thought it was awesome!

Sad...

There are days, like today, when no matter what I do or don't do there is just this intense need to cry. It sits right under the surface just waiting for someone to say the wrong thing...or the right thing, however you look at it. I've been close to tears all day and I don't know what it is that's causing it.

I guess I know what it is. I just like to pretend like it's not a big deal. I'm invincible ya know. I can handle anything that comes my way. Nothing affects me. Nothing!

I'm also a liar.

This is probably going to ramble on and jump around a lot and make no sense to anyone but me. But then, the chaos that goes on in my head lately is usually pretty...um...chaotic. Somedays it barely makes sense to me, let alone anyone other sane individual.

I think when I see a loss, anyone's loss, it just kills me inside. I wonder if that's because I know what it feels like to lose something you love so desperately. I guess that could be it.

I get too attached to people. I feel too strongly. I allow people to get to me too easily. I hurt too easily. I cry too much.

I feel isolated. I feel alone. I feel, even worse than alone, lonely! I hate that feeling. Like, I have so much to say to someone, so much I need to vent, but no one to say it to. I'm out here all by myself. I have friends, but I feel like they all have their own lives, and their own problems, so mine should stay right where they are, in my head. I feel like I shouldn't burden people with my worries.

But I have dreams and hopes too. Things I want to accomplish and I freak out thinking I might never accomplish any of them. The truth is, I'm clueless. I have no idea what to do to get to the next step.

Sometimes I think that I should stay right where I'm at and just deal with it. That it would be easier to deal with what's going on, than to start all over again. I get scared that I'm going to fail, and so I think, "Well, maybe I'm better off where I am. Maybe this is a bad choice. Maybe I'm making the wrong move." How do I know if this is the right thing to do or not? How do I know?

This post is a rambling awful mess. I should never sit down to write when I'm feeling this way.

I need to work on the recital dvd. I have to get those done. Even though I've gotten only one order so far. *sigh* Why do I bother?

Anyway...I guess...it is what it is. And it is a mess.

I have nothing to say today.

So...I'm posting pictures instead. These are some of my favorites. I'm not that good...but I manage to capture some good ones sometimes.

Hmmmm...long time since I said anything on here...

..and so much has changed.

Aaron is in Ohio with my mom. He's been there a couple of months now. I sure do miss him. We'll be going to see him soon. He's doing ok but he doesn't come out of his room much. At least that's what my mom says. Aaron says he's been working out and getting buff. ha ha Now THAT I have to see.

Myrena passed on to 7th grade. She did really well on her grades and even scored ADVANCED in both sections of her PSSA test. Way to go Rena! Push us on to AYP. ha ha She wanted a pogo stick for her birthday so we bought one today. She's so funny. She's had a great time with it all day. Even as hot as it was earlier.

Chelsea did well in school too although she didn't do as well this year as she did last year. I think she needs to focus more. It might just need to be that she takes her meds every day instead of only when she thinks she needs them. Ugh! I hate those meds but they do seem to work well for her. She broke the 100 lb mark the last time we took her to the dr. Ha ha...I joked that it was only because she was fully clothed. She weighs a whopping 101 lbs.

The girls had recital this past weekend and they were amazing. I recorded it as usual so that I can make dvds. I hope I get a lot of orders. I need the money to finish paying for dance classes. Ugh!

How about new pictures of all of the kids?