The Chaos Inside My Head

Brain Dump

2010-07-08T06:27:00.001-07:00

Mark and Myrena have been on vacation for the week. It's just been Chelsea and I and the animals. It's been pretty quiet here.

Myrena has been texting me to tell me about her days. She has had a good time with Mark's family so far. They did a lot of stuff with her. Of course no one acknowledged her birthday, but I didn't expect that to happen. They haven't acknowledged my kids in years. No birthday gifts and no Christmas gifts for a while now. The other kids get stuff, but not mine. I'm not sure why that is. I guess it's a case of "out of sigh out of mind." Doesn't matter.

Chelsea's hair is once again different. This time we are in the process of getting all of the black out of it. It's not easy. We've bleached it three times now and I'm done for a while. I wont' do anymore to it because I am afraid of totally killing her hair. So, it's going to rest for a while until I can get all the dead stuff trimmed off. It's cute though. It's still cut in a mohawk but it's blond now. I have a picture of it after the first bleaching in a mohawk. It looks pretty cool! She doesn't wear it that way...not really. She lets it fall on one side and she sort of makes it look spikey out to the side. It's cute on her. She likes it short. It's a change from the intensely long hair that she had.

I miss Aaron! I wish I could bring him home. *sighs*

I don't have much else to update. It's the same old same old here. Clean, do laundry, knit, play on facebook.

I'll try and post some pictures in a bit. I've got some things to get done today.

Oh! I did my first family portrait photoshoot for some friends and the pictures turned out amazing! I'm so excited! I hope that some other people see them and want theirs done too! That would be awesome!

Just sharing...becasue I have nothing else to say.

2010-06-26T20:17:00.000-07:00

While we waited for Myrena's party to start Chelsea and I played with the camera.

Myrena's 12th birthday party was a simple one this year. We played at the park and had a cook out. That's what she wanted. All of the friends she invited came and they had a blast.

She got roses from her daddy for her 12th birthday. She was very tickled with the delivery. She also got a pogo stick and a laptop from us.

Awesome picture. We had some fun with the camera today. Chelsea showed her photography "eye" today too.

This is Chelsea's picture. I thought it was awesome!

Sad...

2010-06-25T15:35:00.000-07:00

There are days, like today, when no matter what I do or don't do there is just this intense need to cry. It sits right under the surface just waiting for someone to say the wrong thing...or the right thing, however you look at it. I've been close to tears all day and I don't know what it is that's causing it.

I guess I know what it is. I just like to pretend like it's not a big deal. I'm invincible ya know. I can handle anything that comes my way. Nothing affects me. Nothing!

I'm also a liar.

This is probably going to ramble on and jump around a lot and make no sense to anyone but me. But then, the chaos that goes on in my head lately is usually pretty...um...chaotic. Somedays it barely makes sense to me, let alone anyone other sane individual.

I think when I see a loss, anyone's loss, it just kills me inside. I wonder if that's because I know what it feels like to lose something you love so desperately. I guess that could be it.

I get too attached to people. I feel too strongly. I allow people to get to me too easily. I hurt too easily. I cry too much.

I feel isolated. I feel alone. I feel, even worse than alone, lonely! I hate that feeling. Like, I have so much to say to someone, so much I need to vent, but no one to say it to. I'm out here all by myself. I have friends, but I feel like they all have their own lives, and their own problems, so mine should stay right where they are, in my head. I feel like I shouldn't burden people with my worries.

But I have dreams and hopes too. Things I want to accomplish and I freak out thinking I might never accomplish any of them. The truth is, I'm clueless. I have no idea what to do to get to the next step.

Sometimes I think that I should stay right where I'm at and just deal with it. That it would be easier to deal with what's going on, than to start all over again. I get scared that I'm going to fail, and so I think, "Well, maybe I'm better off where I am. Maybe this is a bad choice. Maybe I'm making the wrong move." How do I know if this is the right thing to do or not? How do I know?

This post is a rambling awful mess. I should never sit down to write when I'm feeling this way.

I need to work on the recital dvd. I have to get those done. Even though I've gotten only one order so far. *sigh* Why do I bother?

Anyway...I guess...it is what it is. And it is a mess.

I have nothing to say today.

2010-06-25T06:57:00.001-07:00

So...I'm posting pictures instead. These are some of my favorites. I'm not that good...but I manage to capture some good ones sometimes.

Hmmmm...long time since I said anything on here...

2010-06-24T18:15:00.000-07:00

..and so much has changed.

Aaron is in Ohio with my mom. He's been there a couple of months now. I sure do miss him. We'll be going to see him soon. He's doing ok but he doesn't come out of his room much. At least that's what my mom says. Aaron says he's been working out and getting buff. ha ha Now THAT I have to see.

Myrena passed on to 7th grade. She did really well on her grades and even scored ADVANCED in both sections of her PSSA test. Way to go Rena! Push us on to AYP. ha ha She wanted a pogo stick for her birthday so we bought one today. She's so funny. She's had a great time with it all day. Even as hot as it was earlier.

Chelsea did well in school too although she didn't do as well this year as she did last year. I think she needs to focus more. It might just need to be that she takes her meds every day instead of only when she thinks she needs them. Ugh! I hate those meds but they do seem to work well for her. She broke the 100 lb mark the last time we took her to the dr. Ha ha...I joked that it was only because she was fully clothed. She weighs a whopping 101 lbs.

The girls had recital this past weekend and they were amazing. I recorded it as usual so that I can make dvds. I hope I get a lot of orders. I need the money to finish paying for dance classes. Ugh!

How about new pictures of all of the kids?

I'm so sick!

2008-09-27T17:44:00.000-07:00

I feel like I've been hit by a bus!

Seriously!

Hubby and kids are taking great care of me. However, they all want me locked safely away in my room so they don't get sick.

I snuck out though.

I'm feeling better than yesterday. I was even lightheaded yesterday. But some nyquil last night and some robitussin today and I'm leaning towards feeling human again...barely...but I'm on my way.

I'm going back to bed.

Sniff

Cough

Sniff

*sigh*

Night night

Ripping my heart out...

2008-09-22T20:05:00.001-07:00

Oh geez, the teenage years are going to kill me I'm sure of it. It's not that Chelsea is a difficult child. On the contrary, she's a total sweetheart (most of the time), but because of that I guess, she gets walked on a lot. I hate that for her. I feel her pain. It just breaks my heart to see it happen to her.

See, she's been friends with the same group of girls for a long time now, since elementary school. Last year one girl in particular started to ignore her. This really hurt her because it was her best friend. She was hurt but she didn't say anything. Over the summer that girl started to act like everything was great again. She was hanging out with Chels and calling and texting her. Well, school started and suddenly Chelsea isn't cool enough or pretty enough or something enough and she's started her crap all over again. Poor Chels. She doesn't know what to do about this.

Mark and I are really proud of Chelsea in that she doesn't follow the crowd. She does her own thing. We've always told her that cattle follow the herd, not people. She's free to make decisions on her own. She doesn't need her friends' approval to wear a certain shirt or look a certain way. So, she's always a little left of center because in her words, "I'm cool like that." The girl that's sort of snubbing her now doesn't do anything out of the ordinary because she's afraid to stand out from the crowd. I think she'd march right off a cliff if the rest of the group did. Sad really.

So, Chelsea was crying today because she feels like all her friends hate her suddenly. We talked a lot about if they were truly her friends then they'd be her friends no matter what color her hair was or how funky her outfit. We talked about being who she is because she likes who she is. I told her, "You be who you are because you like who you are! Love you and others will love you too!" But that's hard to live by when others are snubbing you. Ya know?

So, anyway, it hurts for my daughter to hurt. I hate it. A lot. And right now I want to march right down to that little divas house and tell her that one day she's going to look around and the people she thinks are her friends are as superficial as she is. And that one day she'll look around and wonder where all her true friends are and realize that she doesn't have any, because she didn't know how to be one.

And that's the end of my rant.

I'm a bad blogger....(extremely random post)

2008-09-21T06:44:00.000-07:00

See, this is how I am. As soon as life gets a little busy, I neglect my blog. I always do it. I've got a journal elsewhere and I neglect that too. I did it when I was younger with my written journals. At times when life is busiest, when I should be journaling what's going on and how I'm feeling about it, I ignore it. I'm a bad blogger. *sigh* So, what's a person to do? Well, I just don't know. I suppose I should make some resolution to be a better blogger and come up with a set time to blog each night...but that won't happen. I've done it before. I'm too disorganized in my own mind to follow it.

So, that aside, what's going on? A lot and nothing all at the same time. The girls have started dance again so of course I'm at the Rec Center every day for some length of time. Chelsea is taking ballet, pointe, tap and jazz as well as being a student choreographer and a dance demonstrator. That's keeping her way busy. Myrena is taking ballet, tap and jazz and also playing field hockey right now. She's loving both. I always thought she'd be a sporty kid. She's always on the move doing something and it very rarely involves sitting inside. At the same time she always has to have someone to play "with". She is not a kid that entertains herself well. As soon as she's up, she's looking for someone to play with.

Chelsea is enjoying high school for the most part. She's discovering things about some of her friends that are distressing to her. Last night she discovered that all the people she tried to talk to on the phone were at a party. A party she didn't know about so obviously had not been included. She was a bit bummed about that but we went out to eat and had a fun time laughing at all the people that were staring at her. And she didn't even look strange last night...not really. I mean, her hair is pink and black, but she was wearing a black tshirt that looked like it had a string of pearls on it. Not way out there. She had on skinny jeans and pink converse...and a white belt around her hips. I didn't think that was so out there. But there was a man and woman of about mid thirties that just kept staring at her, blatantly staring at her. They were way preppy though so maybe that was it. Then there were two "surfer" looking girls that kept looking at her, not in a mean way, they just kept looking over at her. Chelsea is such a goof. When she noticed them looking at her she started "fluffing" her hair like some movie star. Goober! We had a giggle about that.

Aaron has not been doing much. He's not motivated to do anything so I think I'm going to have to motivate him myself. He's going to either go to school, or get a job. He cannot sit around my house for the rest of his life playing video games. It's not going to happen. So, I'm going to have to force the issue of driving and getting a job. He's not going to like me for it, but that's the way it's going to be.

I'm doing okay. I still am not happy with my schedule at work, and I'm watching for a better opening. I'm just so worried that people will be upset with me for leaving. I mean, I like the teachers I work with. (Oh, and Leish, OMG! I have to email you about something. ) I like the kids and I don't want the boss mad at me. But I hate when I'm doing right now. It's so ridiculous. Have you ever heard the phrase "if it isn't broken, don't fix it" well that applies here. We finally made AYP and now the whole of what was working, is moved all around. I could go on and on about this one but I won't. It aggravates me to no end.

Mark is working and traveling a lot so I don't see much of him. I'm feeling a little like a single mom without the worry of the bills and all that. I wish I had one day with no one around so I could totally clean my house and get it looking nice again. There is clutter everywhere and that's a drag.

Oh, this really bites. My camera is in the repair shop. I just got it in April. When I got it I noticed that it wasn't really centering the pictures like it should. I had to compensate a lot to get the picture where I wanted it. It looked like it was in the middle through the viewfinder, but not on the picture after you took it. Then when I took it to Ritz camera the guy there (Tony the butthead) tried to make me look like a fool saying that it seemed to be taking pictures just fine. I explained what was happening and he took a few shots, deleted a few, then took a few more and said, "No, it's taking pictures just fine see." then handed me the camera to look over his pics. Well, yeah, he already deleted the ones that were messed up then he took some more allowing for the difference. I knew what he'd done. I was getting angry with him and told him that I knew what the camera was doing and it had done it since I got it but that I was unfamiliar with dslr cameras so I thought maybe it was a quirk. After talking with others I realized that it shouldn't be that hard to take a picture with a camera like that and took it in to be replaced. He kept insisting that there was nothing wrong with the camera. A girl that was also working there heard him talking to me and came to look at the camera. She took some pictures and noticed it right away. Then Mr. Anal Bin Loudmouth decided to send the camera in for repair. I thought it shoudl be replaced since it had been doing it since the day I got it, but he insisted that it needed to go to repair shop. I had better not get it back with more issues than it had. I bought the extended warranty, thankfully. So, no taking pictures right now. *sigh* That's really hard because I take pictures of everything.

Okay, I need to go and pick my watch up at Sears (also had to be sent for repair). I missed that terribly since there were no clocks in the rooms at school for a while. That drove me nutso. ha ha Short trip, I'm half there already.

Okay, enough whining. I'm going to post some pics with this I guess. I'll see what I have.

Mark getting ready to blow out the candles on his 50th birthday cake. NOw, see, I'm holding the cake right? And he's going to be blowing toward me right? Well, right about this time I realized what a bad idea this was. The candles were melting and there were little puddles of wax all on the tops of them....and he blew on them. You can I'm sure guess what happened from there. Yup! I wore the wax! All over me from forehead to chest. Nice.

My sister and me at the Air Force Museum in Dayton, Ohio. We just thought the Icarus statue was way cool, and we were maybe trying to see what he had tucked up under that big feather in the front. Heh!

This cracks me up. All the girls doing the "rock n roll" sign with my stepdad. Too funny. He's a pretty quiet guy and so to get him to do this was quite an achievement. We tried to get him to do the peace thing but he wouldn't.

The most awesome grandma in the world. See that computer behind us? It's hers. She's a plugged in granny for sure.

My timecard says K5 Assistant but....

2008-09-03T15:45:00.000-07:00

...I don't feel like one. I'm so frustrated I could just scream.

My favorite part of being a k5 assistant is the interaction with the kids. Kid writing, math centers, science, fun stuff at holidays. Gone, all gone. My schedule sucks and I really hate it. I'm not a kindergarten assistant because I'm never in one classroom more than 30 minutes at any one time. I only see each teacher for one hour daily. That's it. That's all they see the assistants.

Okay, here's my schedule.

8:30 - 8:45 Door Duty
8:45 - 9:00 Assigned classroom (what I'm goingto accomplish in 15 mintues before announcements I have no idea)
9:00 - 9:30 Mrs. P's class for centers
9:35 - 10:05 Mrs. S's class for centers
10:05 - 10:35 Mrs. W's class for centers
10:35 - 10:50 Break (what the??? Break???)
10:50 - 11:20 K5 Recess
11:20 - 11:40 k5 Lunch
11:45 - 12:10 3rd Grade Recess (did I mention they hired three new playground people?)
12:10 - 12:20 Assigned classroom (yeah, 10 minutes)
12:20 - 12:50 Lunch
12:50 - 1:00 Assigned classroom (uh huh, you read it right, another ten minutes)
1:00 - 1:30 Afternoon Intervention Time (not to be used for kidwriting! What? ) Mrs. S's class
1:30 - 2:00 Afternoon Intervention Time (again, no kid writing) Mrs. W's class
2:00 - 2:30 Afternoon Intervention Time (*sigh* I love kid writing) Mrs. P's class
2:30 - 2:45 Assigned Classroom (not enough time for kid writing)
2:45 - 3:00 Break (what the hell's the point???)
3:00 - 3:15 Assigned classroom (Oh goody, just in time to say goodbye to them)
3:15 - 3:30 Dismiss the kids and clean up the classroom

I hate it.

It sucks.

I'm not a recess aide. I'm a kindergarten aide. Say it with me. K-I-N-D-E-R-G-A-R-T-E-N!!!!

I'm in a shitty mood now.

Even worse for the teachers. Let's add it up. If a teacher has an assistant for the day (one day a week they're without since there are three teachers and two assistants) then they have an assistant for two hours and ten minutes daily. One hour of that time is devoted to intervention centers. The other hour and ten minutes is broken into 10 and 15 minute chunks.

There's isn't support for kid writing (which needs all the support you can get especially at the beginning of the year). There isn't support for those activities that need extra hands. There isn't support for anything. It sucks for them too! I've seen Mrs. P for barely enough time to say hello. I'm in her room tomorrow and won't even see her then either. This really sucks. I love the people I work with, and the kids, but I feel like I'm never doing anything with them.

Did I mention this sucks?

Did I mention I'm in a shitty mood about it?

Did I mention I hate it?

Okay then, 'nuff said. (hmmppphhhh)

School has started!

2008-09-03T04:55:00.000-07:00

Well, yesterday was the first official day of school and it went pretty well (excpet that we were missing my most favorite teacher....*sigh*). I was in Mrs. W's classroom yesterday but really, with my schedule, I'm not really in anyone's classroom for more than a half an hour ever. It's so weird. Out of the entire day, I spend 3 hours in the classroom assisting teachers. The rest of the time I'm at lunch with the kids, at recess with them (or 3rd grade *snarl*) or taking my built in 15 minute breaks. That's a new strange thing to get used to. We never had built in breaks before. They're nice, don't misunderstand, but it's just odd. We used to just grab a potty break or a snack break when the kids went to specials. But now they go to specials while we are at recess with the bigger kids. There is absolutely no time for the extra work that we used to get accomplished. There is no extra time in there for laminating or putting things together, or cutting things out. I'm complaining, I should stop that now.

Chelsea and Myrena both started yesterday as well. Chelsea likes her teachers all a lot. Myrena of course loves her teacher because she has the same teacher as last year. Yesterday Myrena was wearing the goofiest socks. She's so silly and of course she's going to start the year by letting everyone know how silly she is. Chelsea went to school with pink and black hair. But that's not anything unusual and the kids that went to middle school with her are, I'm sure, used to her by now, however, the kids that she doesn't know were a bit surprised by her look I think. She said when she walked into Science class there were lots of "OH!"s going on. My kids are definitely individual eggs for sure (Chelsea happens to look like an Easter egg!).

I know it's been a long time since I last posted. The summer got really busy on me and before I knew it, school was starting and I still hadn't posted anything from our summer adventures. I'm going to post some photos and do it that way very soon. In the meantime, here are the girls on the first day of school (yeah, I'm a dorky mom and make my kids pose on the first day!).

Oh shoot! You can't see Myrena's crazy socks. They had little headphones and music notes all over them. *grin*

Here's a better on of Chelsea's hair.

Wow, her face looks really white there. Oh well, it's the picture I have for now. ha ha. She's a nut! Her ballet teacher commented on it. She doesn't like it. Chelsea was sure she wouldn't.

I need to go for now. Time for school.

New Pointe Shoes

2008-07-31T19:17:00.000-07:00

Chelsea got her pointe shoes today. She is so tickled. She can't wait to get on them. She's so excited. We went down for the dance teacher to show her how to sew her ribbons on today. She's got one shoe done and we'll go tomorrow to do the other one. She has to check to be sure she's done it right before she does the other one. She was beaming while she was being fitted. And usually this takes a really long time to get them fitted. We lucked out today. The first pair that she put on not only fit, but felt good and didn't pinch or bind anywhere. The lady at the store said that never happens.
She's such a contradiciton. Here are the pictures she took last night...

And then here she is today...getting her new pointe shoes. She was so excited about her funky new outfit and pink converse that she got yesterday and then today she's excited about her very girly pink pointe shoes.

She's still a girlie girl even if she does cover it up with pink hair dye and rocker sweatshirts.

Myrena is doing really well. I think she's lost a little weight this summer. I don't weigh her as I don't want her being self conscious at such a young age, but we do talk to her about eating healthy and keeping active. She does a good job of that. She's very active. Sometimes I don't see how she could carry any extra weight at all. She's the farthest thing from lazy. She's always moving, swimming, riding her bike, roller blading, or just playing with her friends. She's almost never sitting still. I hate to think that she's going to struggle her whole life with her weight, but then, it's how God has made her and he makes no mistakes.

She does want to play Lacrosse this year. If we can find her a team to play on we'll make that happen. She wants to dance also. She's so funny, she's worried about whether we can pay for her to do both. We told her not to worry, that she could do both and we'd be just fine. If she can't play lacrosse she wants to play soccer. I'm sure we can find a soccer team for her to play on. The Rec has one I'm sure.

We went camping for Chelsea's birthday. She had a great time. We rented two sites so the girls would have their own site. She invited two friends from school. They were very well behaved and had a lot of fun. We were playing around with some pictures. Here's what we did...

That's Chelsea she's holding...

Giving Allison a kiss

Myrena is going to squish them like bugs.

Chelsea in Ashley's hand. She's hard to see but it's easier when it's bigger. It's very cool. I think if you click on the picture it will make it bigger. I had fun with these and so did the girls.

Soooooooooooooooo, I guess it's time to go to bed. I'm tired and I've got a busy day tomorrow.

Quite Literally crying laughing!!!

2008-07-28T10:43:00.001-07:00

Okay, so my daughter has a facebook and I opened one for myself because she begged me to. I watch hers but I have her password, so I didn't really need to have one of my own...but...she asked. So, there was this IQ test thinger on there and I took the test. OMG! I'm laughing so hard I can barely type! This is what it said...

Your score: 150
Top 5% of Population
People that score in this range are genius or near genius.

Roflmaoooooooo!
And, there is no freakin' way! This thing is rigged! roflmao Of course, maybe it isn't. It did say Tom Cruise's IQ was 98. That sounds about right. Heh!

My website

2008-07-20T17:06:00.000-07:00

I've been working on updating the family website. I try to use that to keep in touch with my family. I added a media page today. I need to fix a couple of things on the youtube vids. I had a hard time embedding the videos so I took the easy way out and uploaded them to youtube. *shrug* I'm getting lazy and just didn't want to work through the html any longer.

Watching Big Brother tonight. My favorite guilty pleasure. I know it's trash t.v. but I have to watch it.

So, the doctor put me on medicine again for the swelling but he increased it to twice a day. After a week I have to get some bloodwork done and see if it's improving and maybe see if any levels will tell anything. I don't look for that to provide any answers. But, it's a start. The swelling has improved and my feet and legs are about half the size they were. That's pretty good because they were huge.

We had a busy weekend. On Saturday we cleaned the dungeon. The laundry room you will remember (if you read the picture tag post) was so bad your couldn't even walk through it. So, we pulled Mark's trailer up in front of the house and we emptied the basement and only took back what we could justify. We also got a bunch of clear totes to separate things into and put them onto the shelves. It looks 100% better down there. In fact, it's a little strange because I'm not used to it being that clean. I love it. We scrubbed the floor too! It's a complete turn around.

So, I guess I should take a new photo.

I'm distracted and I think I should write this later. Ha ha.

If you want to check out the new updated pages go here .

Blow Fish Syndrome

2008-07-18T05:24:00.001-07:00

I go to the dr. today to find out why I look like a blowfish. My feet and legs are swelled to unnatural sizes lately and I can't figure it out. The Lasix is not working. Each night when I sleep they recover a bit, but never as much as the increase in swelling from the day before. So, I'm just getting bigger. Today is an all time "huge".

There has to be a reason for all of this. It can't be "cyclic edema" there is just no way. I'm 38 years old and have swelling worse than my 78 year old grandmother. When old ladies look at my legs and gasp, there a problem. You know, there used to seeing it, it happens all the time for my grandma, it's a usual occurrence, but not in a 38 year old.

I had tests and tests and tests done about a year and a half ago when this all first started. No, two and a half years ago. It started in February of '06. Just suddenly, I swelled up one day to a strange size. And then it went down a bit, and then got bigger, and then went down a bit....etc. They tested everything. My heart first; the worry was congestive heart failure. Wasn't that. Next it was my thyroid they checked. Nope. My kidneys? Off to a specialist for more tests. Nope, not that either. Not my liver or my pancreas either. I discovered through all this, that I'm incredibly healthy. Well, except for the really ugly blow fish feet. I just kept moving forward and finally resigned myself that it was just a fluke thing and I'd just live with it. The medicine worked when it flared up and I'd just take that when I needed to.

I went on a diet and started losing weight. I lost 42 pounds in six months. I hit a plateau. But the swelling had gone away. I was so excited. I thougth I'd found out what it had been. It was the weight. Had to be. Yay me! Right?

Wrong! It came back this past February. And it's worse.

So, I'm off to the doctor today to find out why once and for all. I've got my list of "symptoms" (related or not I don't know, but it's a list nonetheless.) and my big huge feet. He's going to have to do better than "cyclic edema". Mark's worried that it's my heart. I don't know. It might be I guess.

I just don't know. But I hope they can find out. I can't wear any of my shoes. And that's not good. LOL

I got tagged!

2008-07-15T15:47:00.001-07:00

**note, no matter how much formatting and html I add to this thing, it just won't do what I want. It puts spaces where they shouldn't be and won't let me delete them. So it looks like a kindergartner formatted it, and honestly maybe that's who programmed the dang thing for blogger, but this is the best it would let me do. stepping off my pedestal now**

So Aleisha tagged me. Thank God she's the only one that reads this blog! LOL I wasn't allowed to clean anything before I took the pictures. You'll see that I certainly did NOT clean anything before I took the pictures. Argh. I need to go clean my house now.

1. Dream Vacation

That would have to be Australia! I'd love to go there and this is why.

This is Byron Bay! Gorgeous!

2. Self Portrait

Blargh! I look horrible. LOL And what is up with my mile high forehead? Has it always been that big? Geez. Is there surgery to correct that? I suppose not.

3. What the kids are doing right now...

This is what Aaron is always diong. Well, most of the time. He has time limits and when he isn't doing this, on his off time, he's reading. His desk is a mess. I need to mention that to him. The rest of his room is amazingly clean for a boy though. I mean, seriously, I should have taken a picture of that. His bed is even made. LOL He jumped a mile out of his seat when the camera flashed. He didn't know I was taking a picture and I scared the bejeezers out of him.

Chelsea was watching music videos. I told her about when I was her age MTV had just come on the air and it was all music videos and music news. That's it. She was shocked and said she wished it were like that now. She loves watching videos.

Myrena and Sara are playing Bratz. They have such fun with these dolls and they always clean it all up when they're done. They do a good job down there. Our playroom is in the basement. I wish I had more room to give them to play, but that's what we have. They don't seem to mind much.

4. Closet

Blech! I hate my closet. They are too small and not enough of them. I'll show you my bedroom closet, but I warn you, I keep the curtain closed for a reason.

We have to have a curtain on it (not really even a curtain, it's a sheet and a tension rod) because we had to take the door off since the bedroom is so small and our bed is so big. But I love our bed and would never part with it. Notice the garment bags....they're full of dance costumes from recital. I haven't put them away properly yet. I'll deal with that when I need the garment bags for new costumes. LOL!

5. Favorite Room

(photo coming...I'm upstairs and forgot about this one when I was running around taking pics...)

Hmmm, that would have to be....I don't know. Right now I don't really have a favorite room. I guess my dining room since we just painted it and it looks all nice now. I have to get something on the walls for decoration but I'm just no good at that.

6. Favorite shoes

(I forgot about this one too. I'll get a picture and put it in here...)

Any that fit right now. My feet and legs are swelled to unnatural size and I can't put my feet into anything but my ratty camping shoes. The sneaks with no backs!

7. Laundry room....Leish, you cannot even complain about your laundry room! This one takes the cake I'm sure. It's a crazy mess down there and at the moment, Mark was working on the freezer so it was doubly a mess.

Geez there is crap everywhere! Argh! This weekend coming we are pulling the trailer up out front and emptying most of what is in this dungeon into it to go to the trash heap. It's a horrible mess. I know I should freecycle it but honestly, I just need it gone. I do love my washer and dryer though.

8. Bathroom.

I do like my bathroom. It's small but we just remodeled it and I love the colors we chose and the way everything came out. It's a mess right now. Proof that I didn't clean anything before I took the picture.

It's really tiny...I mean...really!

Okay, the toilet paper is supposed to be under the sink and the rolls we are saving for Kids and Cultures. They're doing a craft at their camp and they need over 200 of them. I don't think we'll be able to provide them all, but we'll do our part to help out! *grin*

I just love our new sink. It's my favorite part of the whole new room. Of course right now it's covered in things that shouldn't be there, but hey, what do you expect with three kids, two of which are teenagers? Do you like the bead board (is it called wainscoting?) it was a pain in the butt to paint but I love the way it turned out. I love the color too. Mark frowned at me when I picked it, but he liked it too when it was on the walls.

9. Sink!

OMG, I can't believe I took this picture. I do the dishes after dinner, and we haven't had dinner yet. Sooooooo, there are still dishes sitting there. Argh! As you can see from my ancient sink, we haven't yet remodeled the kitchen. It's on the list, but it still needs sooooo much work we need to save some money for it first.

9. Refrigerator

Hmmm, what do you say about this. It's a fridge. AT least there isn't anything moldy.

I don't know anyone that blogs so I can't tag anyone, but hey, it was fun! Thanks loads Leish for making me aware of just how dirty my house really is! LOL Love ya! Loads! Really! I swear! No, really! Loads! *grin* *wink*

I love camping!!!

2008-07-15T14:31:00.000-07:00

Someone asked me today what my normal day looks like when I'm camping. So, I went about sharing with her my day, and boy did I ever feel lazy, and pampered. My husband babies me way too much. I really love camping and I think I realized why when I told all about my days!

Anyway, we went camping last weekend at Splash Magic in North Umberland. We really love it up there. There is loads for the kids to do. They never stop going. In fact, sometimes Myrena gets so worn out that we have to make her come into the camper and relax for a bit. She'll get so grumpy and cranky but she doesn't want to stop. She might miss something I guess.

When we got there we always get the kids activity passes. They are good for mini golf, bumper boats, paddle boats and bike rentals. There is also a pool there that is just fantastic. And they have constant organized activities. It's one of our favorite places to go. (Leish, you so need to go there!)

I'll add some pictures when I'm not too lazy to resize them all. Blargh!

I've got to work on my website. It's so outdated. I think I'm going to take the whole thing down and redo it. And I might just start today! LOL Why not, I've got nothing better to do until Big Brother comes on at 8:00! My favorite show next to Survivor!

Oh, and I'm reading an excellent book. It's called "A World Without End" and for the life of me I can't remember the author. Shoot. It's the book after "The Pillars Of The Earth". Ken Follet! There, I knew I'd remember it. Both books are really good and out of the norm for me, but I really am enjoying them. It's even too hard to describe what they're about. But they're so interesting. I love reading about how people did things before there were all the handy things we have now to make work so much easier. The books are quite addicting.

I haven't finished my second Market bag yet. I don't like the way the handles are supposed to work so I took them off and I'm trying something different. It probably wont' work and I'll have some more useless bags laying around but whatever. I think I might make something felted for a change. Maybe this pattern, but felted would be good. Yeah! That's what I'll do. Did I already mention that somewhere? Probably. So like me to come up with an old idea and think it's great only to realize I've thought of it before and thought it was great then too.

I'm rambling.

I should go take that website down. Yup! Think I just might do that.

Later!

Better Late Than Never...

2008-07-07T18:38:00.000-07:00

Happy Fourth of July.

Pictures taken at Lititz Springs Park fireworks display and Long's Park fireworks display. Enjoy.

Myrena's birthday party

2008-07-06T13:56:00.000-07:00

She had a blast. It wasn't so bad for me either. I just kept cleaning up the mess and putting out a new activity. I've got some fun pictures. The kids were so silly but not misbehaved at all. It was a good group of girls. It was kind of funny to see that they were all little dancers. Julian doesn't dance anymore, but she used to.

First they swam out back in the pool.

Then they came in and wanted to do a craft. I had little tote bags for them to decorate with paints and some other stuff. They had fun with those. Julia wasn't there yet. She had a wedding to go to so she was a little late.

Then we had cake. I guess I should have a put a cute pic of her cake on here, but this one was funnier. LOL

Nice cake Myrena!

They sure had fun with these glow sticks and I had fun taking pictures of them. ha ha ha

Then it was out to the pool with the glow sticks.

Playing Rock Band on the Wii until the wee hours of the morning. Good thing our neighbors weren't home that night.

After all this they played hide and seek in the house, in the dark. They had on glow sticks so it wasn't too hard for them to find one another. They had a blast though adn Mark and I just stayed in the office out of the way. They only came to us to ask permission to do something. Finally at three a.m. I told them that the old people were going to bed and they were restricted to being in the livingroom, diningroom and kitchen area. They put in a movie and settled down...well, some of them settled down. Most were asleep pretty quickly but others were up all night.

Mark and I got up around ten the next morning and they were already up and wanting to get in the pool. So they did and Mark made breakfast.

Yummy! Pancakes and sausage.

All in all I think they had a great time and Myrena loved her party. She felt all grown up having a party that the adults weren't allowed to attend. After all, she is a double digit now! *grin*

More Fireworks

2008-07-06T10:16:00.000-07:00

Just some photos in this one...more playing...yep...that's all I got...

Fireworks

2008-07-06T10:06:00.000-07:00

I got a new camera recently and got the opportunity to do something fun with it last night. The fireworks in Lititz were really neat and I had some fun with my camera. I did learn that I need a remote control for it. It's had to hold your arm up there pushing that button when the camera is on a tripod to keep it from being shaken. So, after much playing here are my best shots. There are a lot of them and I finally remembered to resize them before uploading. Doh!

Mark

2008-06-26T11:34:00.000-07:00

Mark just left to go to the doctor and get the results of his liver biopsy that he had a few weeks ago. I hope everything is okay. He's had an enlarged liver for a while now and his enzyme levels keep coming back high when he gets bloodwork. I'm praying that whatever is causing it is just something that can be corrected. Maybe with some medication or whatever. I know he's worried. He says he isn't. He says that if it had been anything serious they would have called him and asked him to come in sooner. He has a point. I guess. But, he just left and he's really tense. He asked me if I wanted to go with him. I told him I had to pick up Myrena at 4:00. I hope he doesn't think I'm just being callous. But honestly, he asks me to go to his doctor appointments with him all the time. I don't know why, I guess maybe he's getting older and thinking about his mortality a bit. He's going to be 50 this July. Maybe he's starting to worry about things a bit.

I'm praying that all is okay with him.

The DVDs are way cool!

2008-06-24T10:41:00.001-07:00

I'm all done with the inserts, the discs and the labels. I'm pretty pleased with them. It's not a professional job, but I think they're pretty good having come from my ancient Sony Vaio. ha ha

The front cover. The tap shoe picture was taken at dress rehearsal and the girl tieing her shoes was a dress rehearsal also. The ballet feet were from a program I have for making things like this.

All the little pictures I took at dress rehearsals and they worked perfectly on the back. I didn't put a picture of the dance teacher because she's really picky about that kind of stuff.

I don't know if you can see it or not, but the discs are etched with a lightscribe drive and on the first disc is a picture of the tap shoes that I took, and the second disc has pointe shoes on it. They turned out really cool.

Dang, I forgot to take a picture of my market bag so far. I'm such a knitting addict. It's okay though, it keeps me from eating.

We went camping this past weekend. The first trip of the year. We had a great time. It could have been longer and I would not have complained. The weather was perfect and we had a great spot near the pool and playground. I took pictures....of course...was there ever a doubt that I'd take pictures. Chelsea's friend Dejuanah went with us and so did Myrena's friend Sara. You can see Sara in the red sweatshirt, and Dejuanah's legs under her. We somehow lost two chairs since last year. I'm not sure where they went, but they weren't in the camper. Of course I'm not in the picture, because I'm taking the picture. Good strategy I think. I'm sure the kids have pictures of me on their cameras. They always take pictures of everything. I've taught them well.

This picture freaked us all out a little. I was using the night portrait setting on my camera, and Sara moved when I took the picture and this is the weird shot we got. How bizaare (bizarre?) is that.

We've got way more camping trips coming up. It's going to be a busy summer with all this going on. I love it though. I'm off to call about the Summer Workshops at the Dutch Apple Dinner Theater for Chelsea. That should be a good time for her.

Happy Birthday Myrena

2008-06-23T20:00:00.000-07:00

My youngest just turned 10!
*Sniff* *Sniff*
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
I can't believe she's ten already. Just a few days ago she was in Ms. Crostley's classroom in her tiny little uniform pretending to be a student while I graded papers. I can't believe it. She's in fifth grade now!

OMG! I've got one in high school and one graduated! Holy crap I'm getting old!

Okay, enough of that.
We had a nice little party for Myrena tonight, just the family. Her slumber party is on Saturday and she's just about to burst. I was given strict instructions about what I am and am not allowed to do. I may not plan the party out. I may have all of the activities available for them to choose from and they will participate when they're ready. I may order pizza for them. I may not eat the pizza with them. I may put in a movie. I may not watch the movie. I am allowed to be awake in my room and watch my own dinky little t.v. while they watch the wide screen downstairs. How very gracious of her. Right? I make it all sound so mean don't I? I think it's funny. It used to be that she wanted a theme party that was perfectly planned and everyone had something to do at a certain time. Not anymore. She wants to "hang" with her friends. You know, after all, she is a double digit now. Ahem, pardon me.

We bought this little teeny cake today and asked the lady at the bakery to write on it. That was sort of funny. It was a 1/8 sheet cake. I didn't want to go all overboard because she's getting cake and stuff on Saturday but I did want to celebrate a little on her day. So, we got her a cake, some presents from the family and made her a special dinner or her choice. She chose spaghetti, which is good because I can make spaghetti without killing it. LOL I think she knew that too.

She's going to the Think B.I.G. camp at Elizabethtown College this week. She's so funny talking about how she's going to college. She really enjoyed the first day and being the stellar mother that I am, I missed the bus. The principal had to take her and two other kids all the way there. I was going to take Myrena and Kayla, after all it was my fault they missed the bus. Sort of my fault. I could blame it on the kid, but then, it really would have been a good idea to verify the information instead of just taking her word for it. LOL So, they rode in Mrs. Hopkins car and I promised they would be on time tomorrow. Oops. *embarrassed shrug*

I'm going to check out the Dutch Apple Dinner Theater's website tonight. They have workshops and camps and stuff and I want to see if there is anything Chelsea might enjoy. I'd love to keep her busy this summer. Not that she doesn't already have something to do. She has a project due on the first day of school. ha ha ha. It's a reading project and she has to choose from one of these books...
The Catcher In The Rye
The Chosen
I Never Promised You A Rose Garden
One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest
The Autobiography of Miss Jane Pitman
The Yellow Raft in Blue Water
When I was Puerto Rican
How The Garcia Girls Lost Their Accents

I have no idea which one she wants but we've got to go to Barnes and Nobles tomorrow to pick one of them up. And then she's got to do a magazine project with the book. This should be interesting. And so starts the honors classes at McCaskey High School. LOL

Well it's late and Kayla will be here bright and early tomorrow morning. At least I've only got her for a little bit then they're off to Think B.I.G. camp for the day.

I should go to bed now.

Oh yeah, and I'm working on this awesome market bag. I love it so far. I can't wait to get it done. Then, I'm going to go to market for real. It was so much fun when we walked down with the littles. I want to go by myself this time though. Maybe I'll let Mark go with me, but no littles. LOL

Deranged Math Teacher

2008-06-22T17:20:00.000-07:00

I just found out from my daughter today that he math teacher was much more abusive than I initally thought she was. Chelsea tells me that the teacher called the kids "bastards" near the end of the school year. Now, that really makes me angry. So, I wrangled the whole story out of her. Seems this teacher asked the kids opinion on something. She asked them what they thought of her teaching. One student spoke up. He called her out on her constant put downs and comparisons. See, Chelsea wasn't in the honors program at Lincoln, mostly because I didn't think she should since it wasthe first year for the program and I didn't think it was well put together (and I was right) and partly because she talked me in to letting her do it near the end of school so she took the test. She didn't get in (sigh of relief on my part) and they stated that it was her inadequate grades that prevented her from entering the program (she made honor roll all year and her friend who didn't make honor roll even once the previous year got in...see, not well thought out). I insisted that they keep her in the accelerated math class since she passed ninth grade math in seventh grade with an A. They did as well as several other kids. They were all taking 10th grade math in 8th grade. This class is the class right below the honors class. This teacher continually compared Chelsea's class to the honors class. She constantly told Chelsea's class that they would never succeed, never be anything or anyone, that they weren't as good as the honors class, that she loved the honors kids and hated Chelsea's class. She was seriously a looney bird. Once when Chelsea and I couldn't figure out her homework she asked the teacher for help. After yelling at Chelsea and making her cry she refused to go over the problem with her. She was loopy! So, Chelsea worked really hard and passed that class with an A this year. Okay, all that to tell you that the boy that stood up to offer his opinion recalled all of these things to the teacher. He reminded her how she'd made Chelsea and several other students cry for asking for help. How she told them continually that they'd never amount to anything, and how she was constantly comparing them to the honors kids and telling the class how much she hated the class. So he put it all out there for her to see. And she got angry. Really angry! She told the class that they were the biggest bunch of heartless bastards she'd ever taught.

Now I didn't know about this until just today.

What do I do about it? It's done. Chelsea will never have this teacher again. Should I let it go and reassure my daughter that the teacher was loopy? I mean, I've never been one to undermine my kids teachers, even when I wasn't fond of them, if they dealt out a discipline to my kids, I made them serve it. I firmly believe in presenting a united front with the teachers. But this is just abusive. I don't think this lady should be teaching kids if she can't control the way she speaks to them. I realize that middle school kids are difficult. But, to ask their opinion then call them names, all of them, when one student offers a fair account of the year? That's just not right. But I just don't know if I should let it go, or bring it up.

I hate these kinds of things. Argh!

Finally finished...

2008-06-17T20:36:00.000-07:00

No, not the dvds, I finished the baby blanket I've been working on FOREVER! It's really cute too. It was tedious but I love how it turned out. Hopefully my niece won't notice the mistakes. *sigh*

I really like the way it turned out. I'm sure Jess will love it for her new baby girl. At least she says she's having a girl. If not, then there will be one cute little boy baby in this pink blankie. *grin*

These are the lovely roses that Myrena's school principal brought to her at her dance recital. It made Myrena's whole day to know her principal came to see her dance. The Pink ones are from the principal, the two peach ones came from her dance teacher.

My eyes are crossing...

2008-06-17T15:08:00.001-07:00

...seriously, they are.

I've been working on the recital dvds for two days now and seriously...

Just seriously...

That's all I can think to say. They are really cool though and I already have several orders and three people already brought payment. So I've got to try and get them done quickly so I can get them out.

I'm still trying to find cases to put them in. Ack. It's really hard to find double dvd boxes. I found them at Staples online, but GADS, shipping is 9.97 for my 15.98 order. Are you kidding me? If I order over 50.00 then shipping is free, but there isn't anything else I need.

I'll have to find them elsewhere I suppose.

Back to work *whip crack here*

I'm just sayin'...

2008-06-16T20:38:00.000-07:00

I hate flies. They really bug me. There is one buzzing around the office right now. It keeps doing kamikaze runs by my head. Argh!

I'm trying to work on DVDs of the dance recital. I have the first half completely done and I have to say, it rocks. It's so awesome. And I have a lightscribe dvd burner, so I can etch the labels (lables??) right on the disc (why doesn't that word look right? I hate that!) and I have to say again, they rock! I took this awesome picture at recital practice. The kids had their tap shoes all lined up on chairs in the hall and it was begging for someone to take a picture...and I did.

Was I wrong? IT turned out so cute that I used it as the picture for the label (lable? GADS, they both look wrong....guess I've got to bust out the spell checker.) I also used it as the DVD menu but I turned down the opacity a lot and made it sort of dreamy looking. Very cool effect if I must say so myself.

Okay, this was just about the fly in the office. I've got to go finish the DVDs. They're screaming my name....really....they are.

Agh!

Recital time already?

2008-06-13T07:11:00.001-07:00

Recital always wears me out. The costumes, the hair, the tights, the makeup....the list is endless. Last night was the first night of dress rehearsals and we found out that Chelsea has scarce time to change her costumes. It goes like this. We start in the very cool tap costume (my favorite by far) with hair in a high side ponytail.

Next, she changes to a ballet costume with very big tutu and hair up in a bun. I have to get better at this quick hair change thing. This year the dresssing rooms are a ridiculous distance from the stage entrance. She has to sprint down the hall after dancing to get changed and ready for the next thing. So she dresses and lightening quick we pull the hair out of the ponytail, make a new one in the middle of her head, braid it, twist it and pin in and then pin in the flowers and she's out of there again. I'm not even dancing and she's wearing me out already.

After that she's racing back down the hall to get back into another tap costume, hair out of the bun, into two low ponytails (if this poor girl still has hair after all this yanking and pulling it will be a miracle) and new tights! Gads. We just changed tights for real. Now she's got to sprint back down the hall to get on stage in time. Sprinting in tap shoes is NEVER recommended.

After tap she's got a few precious seconds to change into her jazz costume. The hair has to go back up to a high ponytail, two piece costume on, jazz shoes on and racing back down the hall. At least we didn't have to change the tights that time.

Finally she's coming to the end and she's got one more costume to get into and it's a doozy. I think this costume was designed by a contortionist. Seriously! The thing is impossible to get into quickly. And the shorts...are you for real? She has more material on her underwear than on these shorts. My husband has a coronary every time he sees this costume and then questions what the costume fee was for this class. He can't see how something so small could cost so much.

She stays in the same costume and hair style for the finale, thank goodness.

In the midst of that chaos is the younger daughter who only has three dances but has to change with the older girls because I can't be in both rooms at once. She has one quick change but it's while Chelsea is out of the room so thankfully we aren't rushing two girls into new costumes at the same time. And blessing of all blessings, her hair stays in a bun the whole recital. Yay!

Every year I'm so tired at the end of all this, and yet I keep doing it. Honestly, I do enjoy the whole dance mom thing. It's fun. Don't mistake this post for complaining, I'm not at all. I love that the girls are so involved and have such fun doing it.

Someone remind me of that statement in the winter when I'm carting everyone to umpteen different practices in the freezing cold. *grin*

Tonight we do it all over again for the second night of dress rehearsals and then tomorrow, the recital. Mark video tapes the recital and then I make dvds for the parents. It's fun to make them and then people don't worry about bringing their cameras and blocking the view of those around them with their cameras.

I have other goodies to share, but those are for another post. I've got to go organize dance costumes now.

Is this thing on?

2008-06-09T12:51:00.000-07:00

Okay, I've not ever done a blog before....well....I don't think I have.

Just checking...if this works I'll be blogging all summer I'm sure. Yippee!